A Hope & Future

If this post sounds scatter-brained, I apologize. I wrote it yesterday- after I received a letter. 

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I don't know how I feel. I really don't.

Dread? Relief? Sorrow? Pain? Confused? Questionable? Regret? A failure? A loser? The underdog?

A (almost) 4.0 GPA student with above average scores on all three tests... How did I not get accepted? How did I fail? The letter didn't even have my name on it. How personal... HA!

"Regretfully, we are unable to offer you a position in our Program for the Fall 2012 due to the limited enrollment."

Will I miraculously get in? Am I even on a waiting list? Should I get my hopes up, again? Should I be happily accepting that God obviously wants me somewhere else? Should I be persistent and apply next year? Do I pursue diagnostic medical sonography, because God knows that deep down inside I don't actually want to be a dental hygienist---- Or do I? How do I stay focused on school when I don't have any goals to set my mind on? What do I do now? What? 

Ok, enough with the questions, right? 

But the question in the front of my mind is this: Does God want me someplace else? Or will I get in and He wants to let me pursue this? Mentally, what do I do in the meantime? My mind is exploding with questions... 

I think He is teaching me a lesson in faith. Real faith. Not the cute little bracelets with the word faith on them or the lovely wall art decor with the word painted on it. Not that kind of faith. The kind of faith I'm talking about is the faith that requires me to remind myself that God loves me, and He has a plan for me-- greater that I can image! A faith that melts all questions, fears, sorrow and worries away. God has my hopes and future held gently in His hands. He holds them so perfectly that I have no reason to worry.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

And yet, I do worry. Why? Because I'm human, AND humans are stupid: worry does not add one day to anyone's life, but for some reason we think it's an important thing to do. So we do it.

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life? -Luke 12:25

So I'm moving in less than 2 months?? WHAT! Really? I have to say good-bye to Washington? My church family? the nursery? Buna Coffee&Tea? Awana? Club Beyond: middle and high school? Pierce College? My little city? Seattle? The Northwest? 

ALL. MY. FRIENDS?

gulp!

2 months. 2! only two. 60 short days. 

Now! Now I'm going to start crying. 

I don't want to leave all that in exchange for Hawaii. It doesn't sound worth it.

But let me remind myself for the fiftieth time out of a thousand... God is holding my hope & a future in his wonderful, perfect hands. He gives & takes away! Bless it be the name of the Lord.

A sunny day in Gig Harbor

dessert for 2 :)

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go on a women's retreat with our church and my wonderful mom in Gig Harbor, Washington! I had so much fun! And I learned more about how to keep in step with the Lord. :)

My friend, her mom and I walked down to the downtown area on Saturday. So pretty! I couldn't have asked for better weather. : )


These are the only pictures I took throughout the whole weekend:

These two had some sort of respiratory problem...

Cherry blossoms <3

I can't believe such clear picture came from my ipod. :O

Courtesy of Katherine :)

"Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."

Galatians 5:25

Almost like the Hunger Games

I want to share a few things that have been going on in my neck of the woods.

So, back to those three (dental hygiene) tests. Seeing as the acceptance letters are sent this Friday(Ahh!!), it is well overdue to have an update in this department.
Ok. The first test... to put it in simple terms, was super duper hard. Insanely hard. I can't even describe it. A few of the questions involved reading part of a medical research article, then reading someone's (ei a politician or a "religious leader") response, THEN my job was to choose whether or not that person's response was good/bad and why. 35 questions in 50 minutes. I think I got to number 27 before the time ran out, but I don't remember.  I just remember guessing on most of them. My brain hurt so badly after that test. haha

The other two tests were taken at the same time and place as everyone else who applied to this school. On a very early Saturday morning, I showed up, and I was a little alarmed with the amount of people already there in the yoga room! The tests were taken in the room I've done yoga in for two quarters. Most days, that room is relaxing and low-key, but that day was not one of those days. There were about 80 people in that room. 80 people wanted to get into the program. Everyone seemed nice on the outside, but I know what everyone was thinking: I need to beat all these people. I need to win. Thankfully, the odds for winning this game were & are higher than the actual Hunger Games: 25% chance instead of 4%. There are also 20 winners here (and no one dies!). :)
The first test was an essay-- which took about an hour. And then the Spatial Relations test. Both were intense. Both were rushed. The crazy spatial test was a timed 15-minute test with 35 questions!

If you want to know the type of questions that were on the Spatial test, here's an example:
What would this box look like if it were made into a flat piece of paper?

Yeah, if I hadn't somewhat prepared for this test, I would have FREAKED out.  The program didn't want you to study for these tests, so they didn't tell you what exactly was on them.  Thankfully, my mom keep bugging me about researching practice tests online, so I did a random assortment of practice tests. I only needed to do shape stuff like the example above, but I practiced more than that. Better safe than sorry, right?! :D

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We got our grades back a few days ago, and I am very pleased to say I got above average on all three of them! I was shocked! I still am. Praise the Lord!

The program emails, calls AND sends a letter of acceptance if you are one of the 20. People keep telling me, "Oh, you'll get in! I know you will." But I'm not so sure. When Friday comes (it's 3 days away!), I'm going to be extremely excited if I get in. And even if I don't get in, people might deny their acceptance and end up going to a different school they applied for, therefore allowing me to get bumped up in line. So... I'll be on the edge of my seat for awhile if that happens.

I need to prepare for the worst though. Right now, Plan B is to move to Hawaii with my family. :) Doesn't sound like a bad plan, right?

*oh, and the answer to the question above is b : )