moving on & moving

as the denial wore away and the uncertainty of what i would do this coming fall burned more and more in the back front of my head, i scrambled for options. do i move to hawaii with my family? do i not? do i try to find a school in wa? what do i do?

before i had an answer from the program, my plan was to move to hawaii if the dental hygiene was a no. in other words, hawaii was the 'failure' route- if that makes sense. so when the answer was no, i was extremely against moving there. i spent long nights searching schools/other degrees in washington: radiology and diagnostic medical sonography (ultrasound stuff). i wanted to stay in the amazing wa state. i only needed to take two more classes to apply to the sonography school, but they were consecutive classes- meaning i would need to take one and then the other. that would have taken time and money. scratch that plan.

back to the drawing board. 

what to do. what to do. what to do.

and then one night it hit me...

WHAT IF I GO TO NORTH DAKOTA WITH MY BROTHER?!

whoa, this could be cool. 

(he had applied months in advance for the aviation program.)

ever since i visited a 'real' college, the university of washington, i had a little incentive to go to a university. the campus was beautiful. i think that once you attend for a few years, walk the halls, study your butt off, and receive a diploma from a university, a little bit of your heart stays there. you have a little pride in your school. at least this is what i think happens.

so i looked through the university of north dakota's (und's) catalog. what degree can a get in the medical field that isn't a doctor or nurse? and is there any degree i can finish in 2 or 3 years? 

medical laboratory science caught my eye. a 4-year degree, but from the list of classes required- it looked like i had already taken a quarter of them. one year = done. :)

I applied and was accepted* within a couple weeks.

that was easy... really easy. 

*let me clarify- when i say accepted, i'm talking about und, not medical laboratory science (mls). after about a year, i'll apply to the mls program, but supposedly it isn't hard to get into. i'm hoping that is true.

and then i had second thoughts... why am i moving to north dakota? why am i leaving most of my family (5 out of the 7)? i want to live in hawaii now. why? i had a few meltdowns; for a week or two, i was literally dead-set on hawaii. but i finally realized i was just scared about it new change. and i finally accepted that fact, and it helped. a lot. 

so back to north dakota. yeah... north dakota. NEVER in my wildest dreams had i ever thought about the idea of going there... moving there. ever. just a few months ago, it would have been more likely for me to visit australia or new zealand than to move to this northern very-hot-at-the-moment state. crazy how God works, huh?

more than just a few people have asked me why und (university of north dakota).  people from washington and people from und think I'm crazy. with confused faces, they ask, "so, why north dakota?" which is short for: why did you choose to come to a school in a super flat and boring state? my doctor jokingly said, "i didn't know there were schools in nd." and he asked if i was going to school for buffalo herding. he's a character, but he's almost right. this place is boring.

i don't really have a good answer for these people. but i do know God has a reason for all of this. He brought me here for some reason. i don't quite know why yet. all i know is i'm excited to find out. all my other plans have fallen through; this one hasn't, so there is a reason. 

as most of my family is hawaii bound, nate and i are north dakota bound. 

with the help from friends, we loaded up a car & u-haul truck and hit the road. 

1,500 miles, 5 days, and 4 states later, we enter grand forks, north dakota.

my mom and three other brothers did the trip too. so the vehicle/driver ratio was 2:3. 

while we're in the midwest, we're visiting family in minnesota/wisconsin/illinois/canada. 

busy busy busy summer! i can't stress enough how much driving we're doing. 

it's a good thing i don't mind road trips/driving. :)

we like hanging out in the back of the u-haul. (before it was loaded with mine and nate's junk.)

we said hi to napoleon and kip and tina and deb and pedro and uncle rico :)

good thing we weren't planning on staying...

oh, the life of a trucker. ;)

(doesn't my baby brother's car seat adds a little something to this picture? hmmm)

not as confused

A while back, I blogged about my disappointment in not being accepted to the dental hygiene program in Washington State- click here to read it. I was extremely confused and, well, disappointed. For awhile, I lived in denial. I didn't want to believe the letter they sent me. How was it possible that they wouldn't accept a student with a 3.96 GPA and above average test scores?

A few days before.

I didn't get an email with my test score numbers, so I went to the testing center, and asked the lady at the desk what my scores were. She looked them up and printed them out on a paper. All three scores were above average. Excitement. Hope.

I get 'the letter'...

Fast forward a couple weeks.


I'm finally able to get an appointment with the director of the program. She looks at my transcript and test scores on her computer. Then, she starts the I'm-sorry-you-failed speech. Ok, she wasn't that harsh, but it seemed that way. I cut her off before she could finish it by handing her the paper with my test scores. Then, she was confused.

 "With scores like this, you should be in the program," she said.

 "Really?!" I'm shocked, but not ready to believe it. I already accepted the fact that I'm not in, and I don't want to be let down again.

 "Well, I don't want to take away someone else's opportunity to be in the program," I said. (They only accept 20 students per year.)

 "Oh no, I would have to make an exception and have 21 people in the program."

My excitement is rising, but I stay composed. She still has to talk to the testing center to figure this whole mess out. I leave her office a little happier than when I walked in. I call my mom and tell her the whole situation, and then I tell my brother the whole story as we drive home from school. I know my happiness can flee at any moment with a simple phone call, so I keep myself level-minded.

And as we're driving home, I get that phone call. It's a lady from the testing center- the one who gave me that paper with the scores on it a few weeks back. She apologized as much as she could. She probably said 'I apologize' and 'I'm sorry' 15 times during our 2 minute conversation. The story goes that when I went to see her in person, she gave me the scores of a different person. Yeah. Big mistake. I'm not mad at her though. It's probably because I stayed level-headed. I knew something was up, something I couldn't fix. People I've talked to say I should be mad at her error and at the whole program. But why? I was over it a long time ago. No reason to get upset. It wasn't God's plan, and I'm not arguing with Him. One things for sure, I'm not confused anymore. :) To this day, I don't know my scores, and I'd like to keep it that way. I honestly don't want to see how badly I did on them. Some things are better kept a secret. ;)

I'm planning on blogging about my next steps in this journey called life soon. Stay tuned.

A Hope & Future

If this post sounds scatter-brained, I apologize. I wrote it yesterday- after I received a letter. 

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know how I feel. I really don't.

Dread? Relief? Sorrow? Pain? Confused? Questionable? Regret? A failure? A loser? The underdog?

A (almost) 4.0 GPA student with above average scores on all three tests... How did I not get accepted? How did I fail? The letter didn't even have my name on it. How personal... HA!

"Regretfully, we are unable to offer you a position in our Program for the Fall 2012 due to the limited enrollment."

Will I miraculously get in? Am I even on a waiting list? Should I get my hopes up, again? Should I be happily accepting that God obviously wants me somewhere else? Should I be persistent and apply next year? Do I pursue diagnostic medical sonography, because God knows that deep down inside I don't actually want to be a dental hygienist---- Or do I? How do I stay focused on school when I don't have any goals to set my mind on? What do I do now? What? 

Ok, enough with the questions, right? 

But the question in the front of my mind is this: Does God want me someplace else? Or will I get in and He wants to let me pursue this? Mentally, what do I do in the meantime? My mind is exploding with questions... 

I think He is teaching me a lesson in faith. Real faith. Not the cute little bracelets with the word faith on them or the lovely wall art decor with the word painted on it. Not that kind of faith. The kind of faith I'm talking about is the faith that requires me to remind myself that God loves me, and He has a plan for me-- greater that I can image! A faith that melts all questions, fears, sorrow and worries away. God has my hopes and future held gently in His hands. He holds them so perfectly that I have no reason to worry.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

And yet, I do worry. Why? Because I'm human, AND humans are stupid: worry does not add one day to anyone's life, but for some reason we think it's an important thing to do. So we do it.

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his life? -Luke 12:25

So I'm moving in less than 2 months?? WHAT! Really? I have to say good-bye to Washington? My church family? the nursery? Buna Coffee&Tea? Awana? Club Beyond: middle and high school? Pierce College? My little city? Seattle? The Northwest? 

ALL. MY. FRIENDS?

gulp!

2 months. 2! only two. 60 short days. 

Now! Now I'm going to start crying. 

I don't want to leave all that in exchange for Hawaii. It doesn't sound worth it.

But let me remind myself for the fiftieth time out of a thousand... God is holding my hope & a future in his wonderful, perfect hands. He gives & takes away! Bless it be the name of the Lord.

Almost like the Hunger Games

I want to share a few things that have been going on in my neck of the woods.

So, back to those three (dental hygiene) tests. Seeing as the acceptance letters are sent this Friday(Ahh!!), it is well overdue to have an update in this department.
Ok. The first test... to put it in simple terms, was super duper hard. Insanely hard. I can't even describe it. A few of the questions involved reading part of a medical research article, then reading someone's (ei a politician or a "religious leader") response, THEN my job was to choose whether or not that person's response was good/bad and why. 35 questions in 50 minutes. I think I got to number 27 before the time ran out, but I don't remember.  I just remember guessing on most of them. My brain hurt so badly after that test. haha

The other two tests were taken at the same time and place as everyone else who applied to this school. On a very early Saturday morning, I showed up, and I was a little alarmed with the amount of people already there in the yoga room! The tests were taken in the room I've done yoga in for two quarters. Most days, that room is relaxing and low-key, but that day was not one of those days. There were about 80 people in that room. 80 people wanted to get into the program. Everyone seemed nice on the outside, but I know what everyone was thinking: I need to beat all these people. I need to win. Thankfully, the odds for winning this game were & are higher than the actual Hunger Games: 25% chance instead of 4%. There are also 20 winners here (and no one dies!). :)
The first test was an essay-- which took about an hour. And then the Spatial Relations test. Both were intense. Both were rushed. The crazy spatial test was a timed 15-minute test with 35 questions!

If you want to know the type of questions that were on the Spatial test, here's an example:
What would this box look like if it were made into a flat piece of paper?

Yeah, if I hadn't somewhat prepared for this test, I would have FREAKED out.  The program didn't want you to study for these tests, so they didn't tell you what exactly was on them.  Thankfully, my mom keep bugging me about researching practice tests online, so I did a random assortment of practice tests. I only needed to do shape stuff like the example above, but I practiced more than that. Better safe than sorry, right?! :D

----------------------------------------------

We got our grades back a few days ago, and I am very pleased to say I got above average on all three of them! I was shocked! I still am. Praise the Lord!

The program emails, calls AND sends a letter of acceptance if you are one of the 20. People keep telling me, "Oh, you'll get in! I know you will." But I'm not so sure. When Friday comes (it's 3 days away!), I'm going to be extremely excited if I get in. And even if I don't get in, people might deny their acceptance and end up going to a different school they applied for, therefore allowing me to get bumped up in line. So... I'll be on the edge of my seat for awhile if that happens.

I need to prepare for the worst though. Right now, Plan B is to move to Hawaii with my family. :) Doesn't sound like a bad plan, right?

*oh, and the answer to the question above is b : )

Dental Hygiene Update

Disclaimer: I have not been accepted yet.

(just keep reading)

Best 15 letter word ever! :)

You know that feeling you get when you're so excited you can't think straight?

Well, I got that feeling about a week ago. And it was in the form of an email.

I had been patiently waiting for conformation on whether or not my almost 10-page application was valid or invalid. On February 24th, I checked my student email and there was a letter saying my application was valid (aka good to go!) Praise the Lord :)) Now comes the stressful/difficult part of getting accepted: tests. Three tests are between me and this two year program. Three tests! 2 of them are multiple choice (I think) and the other one is an essay.

Three tests that have nothing to do with dental hygiene, but have more to do with critical thinking and analyzing. They don't want me (or other applicants) to study for it, so there is no study guide.

There is on way to practice. Ugh. But in a way, I guess it IS good...to some extent. I can spend my time doing other things, and I don't feel guilty about not studying, but still. A few practice questions wouldn't hurt. :) Anyways, my first test is on March 15th, and the other two (one being the essay) are on March 24th. I need to dust off my essay writing skills... if I even had any to begin with ;) I haven't had to write papers for school in quite a few months.

*The letter of acceptance is mailed between late April and early May.*

- Lots of waiting to do :) -

As far as my current classes go, I love them very much. My professors are not only geniuses, but they are also excited to teach :) Which makes me excited to learn! Right now I'm taking Anatomy&Physiology part 2, Music Appreciation, Yoga and Choir.

Reading a book in the library before going to the gym.

In my spare time (aka between, after or before classes- it depends on the day), I walk to the campus gym. I run on the treadmill for awhile, then stretch or do something else or both. I'm kinda indecisive, so I just do whatever looks interesting at the time. Lately I've been listening to a podcast from a pastor in San Antonio, Robert Emmitt. We visited his church a few time while living in Texas, but Community Bible Church was too far away to drive to every Sunday morning. Needless the say, he is an incredible preacher/teacher. Click here for the podcasts). I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Maybe I'll do a 20 by 20 update post soon.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

:)